1

“As a child I was poisoned
by the sin of my family members
the males of my family
should have been protectors,
but they were the predators.

I was a child with secrets
that should not have been known.
My thoughts should have been happy,
the things little girls think of
and their dreams.

Shame and guilt would soon take the place
of those wonderful thoughts.

I had no one to call on for help.

I was in an abyss so deep in dark
there was no light, not even a small crack of light
could come in.
Depression set in along with worthlessness.

Soon I was introduced to marijuana.
And my addiction progressed
to other drugs.

I was using to block out my feeling.
To smother my emotions.
Trying to keep the vomit from rising to the top.
But the damage was done so long ago.

I knew a change had to be made in my life.
For me to have kept going the same way
death would have taken me.

I’m learning about God
and his ways about surrendering to his will
his mercy and goodness is endless
to finally be at peace with myself
there is no more shame or guilt.
there is a light shining in.”