“I finally forgave the person that raped me”

3“I love disney. Before living on the streets, I’m a big kid at heart, so I watched the disney channel all the time, I love disney, I would daydream I have a role on a disney show.
I was kidnapped and raped when I was 8 by a 53 year old man. I can’t make any friends. I have a lot of trust issues because of what happened to me. It’s hard for me to make friends, and to feel accepted, and to feel comfortable around people. I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life, but I’ve dealt with that, I finally forgave the person that raped me, but I still have PTSD. I’m 26. I’ve had fibromyalgia since I was 21, I’m in chronic severe pain 24/7, you don’t have a life, and stress makes it worse for my fibromyalgia. I feel like I’m living in a twilight zone episode and it’s not ending. I’m a heroin user, it’s how I medicate myself, it saved my life. I’m one of these people who needs it or else I’ll go crazy and kill myself. I tried killing myself many times. A year and a half ago, I went to a women’s shelter and imagine 50 women in one room, I was being verbally abused there, it was so bad, it traumatized me, so I live at a local park now. I pray a lot, that God will give a huge miracle. I dig in the trash all hours of the night, I beg because I’m so hungry. Lately I feel like hurting myself. I’ve been feeling very depressed. It’s really hard, it’s seriously fucking hard. I want to be heard, when my dream comes true one day, and I’m not homeless anymore, I can help people by telling my story of becoming homeless, never give up hope.”